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In The Cut

So, been thinking for a while about sharing our story of adoption in the hope that it might help other families and because it is such an incredible journey, it feels somehow important to document. Maybe one day it will also be important for our daughter who shall remain anonymous as this is her story too and she may not want to share it. I’ll call her Angel as we called her our ‘angel child’ for the first six months of her time with us, knowing full well that as soon as she felt safe enough, a more fully rounded two-year old would emerge. She was also referred to as an ‘angel child’ by her birth mum and dad who had lost a previous pregnancy and so were very grateful when they fell pregnant with her.  Angel is 9 and will be 10 in July. Right now we are what I call ‘in the cut’. We have just come out of our longest spell of equilibrium (about 3 months) and I felt a new baseline of her self-worth had been reached. It probably has but when the wound opens up, it’s incredible how deep ...
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Managing school with APD

The report comes in a week after the private APD Assessment. I know Angel has APD without a shadow of doubt and I know, from my research, that APD hardly ever exists in isolation. But still, it’s a blow.  You can be diagnosed with five different difficulties with ADP. Angel has two:  Auditory Temporal Processing Skills - which means she finds it hard to differentiate between sounds and in her case in particular to hear the gaps between words.  Binaural Integration - which means it’s hard to hear things coming in different ears, effectively meaning it's very hard to follow a conversation with more than one person. Background noise also plays a factor with all APD difficulties. The report also said she almost definitely has working memory and other cognitive difficulties that need to be assessed via an Educational Psychologist and Speech and Language Assessment. Somehow knowing it and seeing it in black and white are different things and there is a grieving process of sorts...

APD

Angel is discussing plans for her birthday in July.  Angel - But I don’t want to be thirteen. Me - What age do you want to be? Angel - 11, no two, no zero, no one minute old! Me - And would you be with me? Angel - Yes and then maybe I wouldn’t be having all these issues. ‘All these issues’. I didn't know it then but Angel has APD - Auditory Processing Disorder. Never heard of it? Neither had I! It means she finds it difficult to process language. It came to light via the ‘Fast Forword’ programme. Our moderator emails me; ‘ We can now see that Kalya has a significant difficulty processing speech at the normal speed. This correlates with what we see in Jumper Gym. This will be having a major knock on effect to her ability to converse as well as her peers and also affects her literacy and comprehension. She is obviously very good at masking this as I remember you saying that nothing had really been picked up.’ Processing speech at the normal speed? I google it and find APD and LPD (la...

Struggles with Secondary School

Angel is still struggling with secondary school. I think she’s gone through three phases:  One - terrified - it’s all new and overwhelming  Two - form solid friendships - actually it’s quite exciting and a laugh Three - oh shit, this is really hard, the work is way beyond me and the environment is actually scary. The scary part of phase three has been helped along by a couple of incidents. One; a classmate was being bullied by year 11s and was held up against the wall in the hall. Thankfully, this blew over quickly. Two; a boy in year 7 was accused of making a racist remark and three quarters of the year 7 boys wanted to beat him up. Then the year 11s got in on the action and Angel overheard one of them say he had a knife. She, understandably, comes home stressed. She says she was petrified all day and that we mustn’t say anything as she had been sworn to secrecy and, ‘in case I get held up in the hall by the year 11s!’ She is genuinely scared to go in. How do you manage that?...